Our
church was in a remodel and I volunteered to cook for the men who
were working one day. It was a stressful day trying to get
everything prepared and delivered before I went to work. Combined
with many other logistical hindrances, the pressures really grated on my nerves, but
it was nothing compared to what was to come.
I
finally got to the radio station and was talking to my co-worker Ruth Marie
telling her all the things that had went wrong before I even got there. In my folly I stated, “I don't care what the Devil throws at
me today, bring it on!” Oh, he brought it on alright.
Later
that evening, I was watching the eleven o'clock news when my phone
rang. It was my dear mother who cried and said, “ Lisa, Mike
is dead”.
She
went on to tell me she found him on her front porch dead of a gunshot
wound to the head. He had been drinking as usual. I couldn't believe
my ears.
Not
too long before this, my brother had showed up at another church drunk where I was singing in revival-disrupting the entire service. I was so
embarrassed and ashamed. Later, He told mom he wanted to make up for his bad behavior by coming to church again-the next night.
I
thought I would lose my mind. It if were not for the grace of God I
would have. In fact, I begged the Lord not to be committed. It was just too much. Hands
down, the darkest valley of my life. I pray for my family to be saved
and go to Heaven with me, not to die like this! I can tell you God's
grace is sufficient even in unbearable loss and in futile questions
that have no answers. Something or Someone, in the Christian's life,
takes over and carries us through these gut-wrenching experiences.
After my bereavement leave was up, I went back to work and spoke with a precious
artist/songwriter John Darin. He told me his entire church was in a
united fast and prayer. He related to me that he had chosen to fast
and pray for me and my family during this time. There are no people like God's
people. I will never forget that one act of kindness extended to me
during that storm. I now shutter when I hear people make remarks
about Satan like I foolishly did. We alone are no match for the
devil. Even the archangel Michael when contending about
the body of Moses, did not bring an accusation against him, but said, THE
LORD rebuke thee. Mark my tongue Lord, for I know it can
speak from an unguarded heart. Keep my heart Lord, with all diligence,
for I know out of it are the issues of life -and death.
